There are absurdities here so numerous I fail to keep track. Here are two.
The Range Rover that transports us to and fro is well past its prime. Built in the 70's as a military vehicle, some how the "Green Machine" keeps plugging along, though it would fail every step of an American inspection. In order to start the thing, it must be hotwired, for there is no key. And getting it going requires the pushing power of several men, because the truck can only start out of second gear. The gas tank is hilariously placed under the driver's seat and the only way to asses the fuel level is to put a finger in and look at the line the liquid leaves on your hand. The old thing broke down no fewer than seven times in the first seven days I was here in Kimana. One morning the truck lost power while we were switching to 4 wheel drive, which is normal. The only problem was we were in the middle of a small river. But this dilapidated vehicle is one of the best in the village, and the daily problems only make driving it a communal affair. Everyone chips in a push or a tow, and anyone is welcome to hitch a ride in the bed as you drive down the main road.
The bat living in the latrine is, however, a greater ridiculousness that I have had to incorporate into my life here. Not to be overly graphic, but the bathroom here is an outhouse with a hole in the floor, which one squats over in order to relieve himself. The hole leads to a deep pit of human waste. Last week I was using the place late at night and in the midst of my business, as I squatted there backside bare to the air, something flew out of the hole, grazing my ass. I stood up immediately, not sure what had hit me, only knowing it was more bird sized than bug sized. I tried to convince myself that the flying creature was only a moth or a figment of my American imagination. But a few days ago my worst fear was confirmed. Once again I heard the wings fluttering below me as I hunkered over the hole. Standing up with a jolt, I swung my head lamp toward the floor, and sure enough, flying around in the pit below my bottom was a bat, just waiting to scare the shit out of me.
The Range Rover that transports us to and fro is well past its prime. Built in the 70's as a military vehicle, some how the "Green Machine" keeps plugging along, though it would fail every step of an American inspection. In order to start the thing, it must be hotwired, for there is no key. And getting it going requires the pushing power of several men, because the truck can only start out of second gear. The gas tank is hilariously placed under the driver's seat and the only way to asses the fuel level is to put a finger in and look at the line the liquid leaves on your hand. The old thing broke down no fewer than seven times in the first seven days I was here in Kimana. One morning the truck lost power while we were switching to 4 wheel drive, which is normal. The only problem was we were in the middle of a small river. But this dilapidated vehicle is one of the best in the village, and the daily problems only make driving it a communal affair. Everyone chips in a push or a tow, and anyone is welcome to hitch a ride in the bed as you drive down the main road.The bat living in the latrine is, however, a greater ridiculousness that I have had to incorporate into my life here. Not to be overly graphic, but the bathroom here is an outhouse with a hole in the floor, which one squats over in order to relieve himself. The hole leads to a deep pit of human waste. Last week I was using the place late at night and in the midst of my business, as I squatted there backside bare to the air, something flew out of the hole, grazing my ass. I stood up immediately, not sure what had hit me, only knowing it was more bird sized than bug sized. I tried to convince myself that the flying creature was only a moth or a figment of my American imagination. But a few days ago my worst fear was confirmed. Once again I heard the wings fluttering below me as I hunkered over the hole. Standing up with a jolt, I swung my head lamp toward the floor, and sure enough, flying around in the pit below my bottom was a bat, just waiting to scare the shit out of me.
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